If I could tickle myself, life would be *alright* (4)

1 Name: ｷﾀ━━━━━━━━(　・∀・）━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

If I could tickle myself, life would be alright. I wouldn't have any problems. I would sit at home all day and feel perfect. There would be no more of this pain; nothing would be unjustified. I would love life again, and everything would be alright.

2 Name: ｷﾀ━━━━━━━━(　・∀・）━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

This makes sense.

3 Name: ｷﾀ━━━━━━━━(　・∀・）━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Why not masturbate?

4 Name: ｷﾀ━━━━━━━━(　・∀・）━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

( `~`) i masturbate every day until my cat starts clawing at my penis
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