ITT we write a story one plot event at a time (98)

1 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

A girl asks the main character out.

2 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The main character is also a girl.

3 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The main character dies shortly after their first date.

4 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The girl travels to a shaman, seeking a way to contact the main character in the afterlife.

5 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The main character, who wasn't very impressed by the date, awkwardly tries to avoid contact.

6 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Suddenly everybody within the afterlife, including the main character, vanishes to an unknown dimension.

7 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The main character's name is Delaware.

8 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The unknown dimension resembles a near-exact replica of the state of Delaware.

9 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The unknown dimension is revealed to actually be the Unholy Citadel of 6ch.

10 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The Unholy Citadel of 6ch's resemblance to the state of Delaware is of absolutely no surprise to anyone.

11 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The main character encounters a swarm of bees.

12 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The main character eats a bee and feels sick

13 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The main character dies from a bee overdose and returns to the now-empty afterlife.

14 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The strange girl who asked the main character out commits suicide, she appears in the afterlife

15 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The strange girl must find out who killed Delaware, but only from the dead.

16 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The strange girl's name is Eurydice.

17 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

For some reason, Eurydice just faffs about for 350 pages until she finally thinks to ask Delaware the circumstances of her (Delaware's) death. It is quite irritating.

18 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Until that time, a subplot emerges involving Delaware's brother, who was just framed for Delaware's murder. But by whom was he framed?

19 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Suddenly, Eurydice finds a magical wand in the universe that resembles Delaware. How will she use this new found magical girl power?

20 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Regarding the framing of Delaware's brother, Maryland, it could have been only one man - Pennsylvania Adams! He'd had it out for Maryland ever since they'd first met, all those years ago.

How would Maryland prove his innocence, though? Especially while trapped within the confines of his cell?

"If only I, or someone vaguely related to me, had a magical wand!" Maryland cried out to absolutely no one in particular "then I could be free of this damned prison and go about clearing my name."

21 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Delaware contemplates checking >>22-san's magnificent dubs

22 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Without warning, Delaware is stricken with a crippling existential crisis and spends the next hundred or so pages curled up in the foetal position, sobbing.

23 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice tries to comfort Delaware.

24 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

She reaches under Delaware's skirt with her magic wand to see what colour pantsu she is wearing.

25 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Delaware's pantsu are white, with cute lilac frills.

26 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice uses her magic spell " |::/__. |``: ", to change them into pink and white stripes, still retaining the frills. Maryland, who was still trapped in prison, watching this "ordeal", suddenly had a trauma flashback at the sight of Delaware's newly found pantsu.

"Pennsylvania Adams had been dead for years!" Proclaimed Maryland. "It must of been my brother New Jersey, who inherited his will."

Eurydice decides to leave Maryland in jail, because who really cares about Maryland. Plus it would be easier to find him later when need be.

So Delaware hops on Eurydice's back and they fly to New Jersey.

27 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice mistakes New Jersey, the person, for the state of New Jersey, and ends up in Jersey City.

28 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The black, ultra-nigger niggers at Jersey City rape them both to death.

29 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Euridice's soul drifts through the ether before settling back in the Unholy Citadel of 6ch, which still bears an uncanny resemblance to the state of Delaware, while Delaware's soul is reincarnated into a cute fluffy kitten.

30 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Meanwhile the black, ultra-nigger niggers Tyrone and Jamal, standing over the corpses of Delaware and Euridice, ponder the ethics of their recent murder-rape.

Tyrone argues that nature favors the strongest and, as such, the fact that their violent escapade was successful is proof of their natural supremacy, thus justifying their actions.

Jamal, however, counters by reminding Tyrone that what is "natural" is not necessarily what is "right" and to present such an argument is a fallacy.

The two continue like this for some time.

31 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Delaware mews adorably.

32 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice's soul drifts for what it feels like 1000 years, untill she comes in contact with her magic wand, which has sunk to the bottom of the sea.

She utters the spell "):-?;)'McCoy€~}€>~" and turns back into her former self, which was a 13y/o magical gothic loli.

33 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice encounters Orpheus, a charming lolicon gentleman.

34 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

After a bit of small talk/flirtation, Orpheus asks Eurydice a profound question: "What is your intention, your goal? What are you trying to achieve?"

35 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice reveals her life purpose to be proving the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer conjecture.

36 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

"Oh, someone beat you to that years ago." remarks Orpheus.

37 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice pouts and tells Orpheus that weak proofs, proofs of bounding limits and numerical evidence do not count, and then hits him repeatedly over the head with her magic wand while shouting at him that he's a big stupid baka.

38 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Orpheus explains, in between repeatedly blows to the head, that Eurydice has been dead for some time (an entire weekend, to be precise) and that during her time as a corpse almost every single millennium prize problem had been thoroughly solved.

39 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice reminds Orpheus that a proposed proof to one of the CMI Millennium Prize Problems must stand uncontested for at least two years before being accepted as valid, and continues hitting him over the head.

40 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Suddenly, Orpheus' young shota son appears in a maid outfit to deliver morning tea. Eurydice stops chanting "Baka" as her focus has become a fixated.

"How much for the young boy?" As Eurydice pulls out a large cash wad she secretly stole from the niggers in New Jersey.

41 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

"Your hand in marriage" replies Orpheus.

42 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Eurydice proceeds to slice off her right hand and passes it to Orpheus in exchange for the boy.

43 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Delaware, still in kitten form, appears and nuzzles Orpheus's leg.

44 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The next dozen or so pages are missing

45 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Delaware spontaneously combusts.

46 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Delaware returns to the now sparsely populated afterlife, which has managed to accrue a few thousand new souls since Delaware's last visit.

47 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Reflecting on her previous life as a kitten, Delaware cries bitterly as she realises that she will now never claim Eurydice's hand in marriage. She vows never to love again and begins a new life as a Buddhist nun.

48 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Delaware travels to Tibet, to become one with herself. During this time spilt coffee stain has damaged the paper slices the watermelon with her burned pages now she must find the some asshole left gum between two pages seventy lolis lay bare crossed out sharpie markings , who will become the true king of England?

49 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The answer is the shota. The shota becomes king of England. His name is Arthur and he rules justly for the rest of his natural life, alongside his noble one-handed consort Eurydice.

50 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The End.

51 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

So they thought...

52 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

No, the story sucks and has come to an end.

53 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Constance Justice, a single, mini-skirt-wearing attorney, leaves her New York City apartment to meet with her colleagues for lunch at a recently opened Italian restaurant. She has been wanting to go there ever since it was given a 5-star rating in one of the trashy women's magazines she is subscribed to. She hails for a cab, but as soon as she opens the car door, she is met face-to-face with the most repulsive, gut-wrenching sight that she has come across this month. This encounter was going to ruin her day for sure.

54 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

>>53
The story's over, asshole.

55 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

" Screamed the short, overweight turkish cab driver, before speeding off into the night.

Standing there by the side of the road, alone, Constance was struck with the sudden revelation that she was, in fact, merely a character in a poorly-written story - and not even an important character, at that! She had been shoe-horned in at the last second with nary a thought given to what would become of her.

56 Post deleted by user.

57 Post deleted by user.

58 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The loli of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Eurydice, was to carry Excalibur.

59 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Strange lolis lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

60 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

But what if it was?

61 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

It turned out that it wasn't.

62 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Appendix A is a monograph exploring various social effects of a government system based on strange lolis lying in ponds distributing swords. It is far from exhaustive.

63 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

However, Moe A. Blob, a certain reader of this aforementioned Appendix, still manages to be exhausted by it.

64 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Moe, exhausted by the aforementioned appendix, decides to read a different book instead.

The plot of the new book is as follows:
The main character asks a girl out.

65 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The main character is a shoggoth.

66 Post deleted by user.

67 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The girl is actually a swarming mass of fiddler crabs inhabiting a recently-deceased corpse.

68 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The girl politely refuses the shoggoth's advances, citing an urgent need to focus on disproving the Riemann hypothesis.

69 Post deleted by user.

70 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The shoggoth persists, interpreting the mysteriously deleted Post #69 as a sign that lewd things should occur.

71 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Lewd things occur.

72 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Lewd things such as "hand holding, walks on the beach, full bodied pressed hugging, butterfly kisses, deep gazing into each other's soul, and butt touching."

73 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The butterflies misinterpret kissing as a declaration of war.

74 Post deleted by user.

75 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

A vicious swarm of butterflies mortally wounds the shoggoth.

76 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The necrodwelling fiddler crabs revive the shoggoth using the special technique alluded to in chapter >>74.

77 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Dubs

78 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Within the amass of fiddler crabs, an uprising seems to be occurring among the lower hierarchy (mainly the carbs that imitate the lower legs and feet.) The fiddler crab who represents four of the toes, has grown strong. He thinks he can accumulate his fellow fiddlers into taking over the brain of the operation.

79 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Far away, in an unspecified unholy citadel, someone bumps a thread.

80 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The thread is immediately flooded with a swarm of angry, post-modernist bees

81 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The bees begin debating the merits of debating

82 Post deleted by user.

83 Post deleted by user.

84 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The mass-debating bees are interrupted by a mass debate of another kind as various fat, sweaty men claiming to be lolis invade the discussion with their talk of underwear and tea parties.

85 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

A passing witch, in a capricious mood, transmogrifies all of the men into the lolis that they are at heart.

86 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

A roaming warlock, in a mischievous mood, curses all the lolis so that their teacups might forever stay empty of tea.

87 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The lolis wail in despair.

88 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The wailing attracts a wandering magician.

89 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Girls we can just pretend to have tea

90 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

," says the magician, sitting down to join the lolis.

91 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Sip

92 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The magician teaches the lolis a spell where they close their eyes, stick out their tongue, and shake an imaginary salt shaker onto their tongues. In this way they are able to taste salt

93 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The magician asks the lolis for help with a very special magic spell, wherein they have to suck salad cream out of a hose while blindfolded.

94 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The witch and warlock put aside their differences and proceed to beat the magician with large sticks.

95 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The magician enjoys this thoroughly, and proceeds to cry out in pleasure. The witch and the warlock, being sexually inhibited, find this uncomfortable, and decide to summon Delaware and her 70 lolis to keep things from getting too lewd.

96 Post deleted by user.

97 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The lolis join hands and combine to form a magical stirring stick. Delaware then uses her magic to seal the magician's soul into it.

98 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

As his soul is being sucked out of his body, the magician objects that Delaware is from the previous story, and that she died and also became a Buddhist nun in Tibet, and isn't supposed to be here!

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