Declaration of the Founding of the New #jpsie Brotherhood of Poop (62)

1 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

On this glorious day, We, the finest poopers in all of #jp, came together to proclaim our united glory and formed an unassailable cabal of poopers. All who prove their prowess as the finest poopers in the land are free to join.

No pissers allowed.

13 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

I pooped at work again, it was soft but not liquidy. I have been very gassy from all the beans I've eaten.

14 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Daily Poop Journal: Day #4
Today I made a nice out poop. It took me a small bit of effort to push out it out, but it plopped out in one solid piece. A hard poop, and very wide. I wasn't sure my anus could even handle something that size! It was around the size of my fist! Anyways, the big poop was followed by a swarm of tiny little baby poops. Little itty-bitty poops! I had to force a lot of them out, and it was somehow harder to do than the big poop. ;_; But then once it was over everything wiped really nicely since it was a hard poop and didn't smudge. It was a good poop.

15 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

This is the most retarded fucking shit I have ever seen on the internet. All that #jpsie cum has gone straight to your brain and made you a brainless sissy retard.

18 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Everyone, even the most honorable pooper, pisses; a burden placed upon us by God. - Poopers 8:6

19 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Daily Poop Journal: Day #5
Today was not a great day - well, depending on how you view pooping. I went shopping for some clothes and food this afternoon, not expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen; however, I was wrong. Suddenly, I was forced to stop walking down the fruit aisle. The feeling of an earthquake in my stomach signaled the eruption of a volcano. Instant panic ensued. Abandoning my shopping cart, I frantically searched for a restroom. Tears were forming in my eyes as I ran through the cold, air-conditioned air. Streaks of unpleasant smells indicated my path - a trail. Nothing, not a single restroom could be seen. Rather than asking an employee, with the risk of there being no restrooms, I decided to retreat home before it was too late. The car ride seemed to last hours, although only being less than fifteen minutes. Never had I been so excited to see my own home. Faster I ran to the bathroom in my home than to my car in the store. And how disappointing, too; I barely pooped.

20 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

I hate how many times I have to wipe to feel clean after a shit. What's the secret to perfect, firm logs? Am I deficient in fiber?

21 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Our hero has been found! Doodieman, go and bring poop to the world!
doodieman.com

22 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

My POOP is so GREEN

24 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Daily Poop Journal: Day #6
I woke up today with the feeling that I need to shit. The sort of built up pressure that lets you know that it's gonna be a BIG one. I sat on the shitter for a while, but while my insides knew the shit was wet, my anus was dry and refused to let pass anything more than a few pebbles. I was running out of time, I had a train to catch! I got to the train station as quickly as possible, thinking that I was about to miss my train, but then it turned out that the train schedule had changed and the next train was a half hour away. I sat down at the station, my insides having calmed down slightly, and began contemplating if I should shit in the train station washroom, or if I didn't have time. While at the train station, I saw some weird cosplayers, one of them being a man with a pink wig and stubble. Fan expo was occurring in Toronto at the time, and they were heading there. I was about to head to the shitter when I realized the train had arrived, too late for that. I contemplated waiting until I arrive at my destination to shit, but it was getting critical. I instead went to shit in the train washroom. At first, the poop was normal and solid, but very, very long. Then, the flood gates opened. A torrent of liquid shit exploded out my ass. The entirety of the train toilet had been filled with shit. It was like something out of a fluffy pony comic. Anyways, I couldn't wash my hands since the sink didn't work well, so I just walked away, hands unwashed, leaving the cosplayers filling the train to smell my glorious fragrance. When I got to Toronto, I went to shit out the last little bit and wash my hands at the train station washroom. Later that day, having finished my Toronto business, I went to the Royal Ontario Museum. There was some event happening, and people were dressed nicely for it, which was nice. Though they will never know it, they are truly blessed to have been graced by my post-poop self that day. Good to know that even the unknowing are wise enough to dress well in the presence of a professional pooper.

25 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

pooped but it was smooth like toothpaste coming out of a tube. when I went to wipe some feell onto the floor and i had to clean it up .

26 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

>>24
Pooper-san! This is truly an amazing story. I can smell the poop in my room, as if I was a cosplayer on the train. Only a professional could handle such a high pressure pooping situation!

27 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

i think i just shitted

28 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

just made a shit-dick with my boy pussy

29 Name: Tokiko [Del]

>>28
I don't think you realize how profound this post is. What are turds but dicks made out of shit? This supports my theory on how men are inherently bisexual. I need to continue my research.

30 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

>>29
wtf. i did realize how profound my post is. that's why i made it. don't insult my inteligence.

31 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Notice: Toilet water is high. Stand up when wiping.

32 Post deleted by user.

33 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

archives.4-ch.net/ascii/kareha.pl/1105201027

34 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

"This patient suffers fecal impaction, doctor."
"Pliers... Wrench..."

35 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

POOPERS ARE A LIE! I HEARD ONE OF THEM PISSING IN THE STALL NEXT TO ME AT THE ORLANDO POOPER'S CONFERENCE! ALL POOPERS PISS; THEY ARE LYING TO Y-
...
......

36 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

>>35
What dreadful lies you tell about our respectable community!

37 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

                                    ∴
                              。・∴゚・∴。
                            。゚∵・゚・・∴゚・∴         。
                          。・∴。・∴・゚∴。・。∴。
                         ・∴・。゚・∵・゚・∴゚・。゚・。・   。・
                       。・∴・゚∴。・∴・゚∴・。∴・。゚・゚
                      ・。゚・∴。・∴・     ゚∴・゚∴・。゚
                     ・∴。・∴・∴       ・∴・∴・。゚・   ∴
                    ・∴゚・∴。・゚           ∴・゚∴
                  。・∴゚・∴゚              ・゚∴゚・
       ,,------ 、     ∴。・∴゚                         。
      /: ____▽,,,,,,_ヽ    ∵゚・゚           ・
     }ミi:ェェヮi ト.ェェ:-iミ__/⌒Y⌒\              ゚・
     ヾ::/イ__l丶 r'1ノ   ノ     )    。・
      .}::l: ゝ--イ l :{^\      |                   ゚∴゚
      ト!;_`二´_,,;!イ|  |    ノ  |               ゚           ・
       |  |__三___|  |_/|   |        ゚∴
       |  |      ヽ|  ト'   |   |/^ヽ
        |  |         |  |_/ ヽ__人_ノ        ∴・
      ⊆, っ      とーっ

38 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]


         POOP POOP!!
     \\ POOP POOPY !! //
 +   + \\  POOP POO !!/+
        ∬ ∬    ∬ ∬    ∬ ∬  +
   +     人      人      人     +
         (__)    (__)    (__)
  +    (__)   (__)   (__)     +
.   +   ( __ )  ( __ )  ( __ )  +
      ( ´∀`∩ (´∀`∩) ( ´∀`)
 +  (( (つ   ノ (つ  丿 (つ  つ ))  +
       ヽ  ( ノ  ( ヽノ   ) ) )
       (_)し'  し(_)  (_)_)

39 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

ヽ(・∀・)ノ●pooopヽ(・∀・)ノ●pooopヽ(・∀・)ノ●pooop

40 Post deleted by user.

41 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

                人
               (__)
              (__)
              ( __ )
              ( ・∀・ ) Our memories are made of poop.
                U   U What else can we so reliably produce
              │  │            in our day-to-day lives?
            / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄\
           |二二二二二二二|
           |  ∴・゚∴。・  |


     人
    (__)
    (__) ∩ / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄\
   ( ´∀`)/ < But how could we apply this to our daily lives, teacher? │
 _ / /   /   \_______________________/
\⊂ノ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄\
 ||\        \
 ||\|| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄||
    .|| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄||


              人
             (__)
            (__)
           ( __ )
            (´Д` )   / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄\
           /   \ < We must save our poop as if it were a piece of ourselves. │
           ||  ||  \________________________/
           ||  ||
       __ //_//___
     /  //  //      /
   /     ̄    ̄      //    
   || ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄||  ||    
   || ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄||  ||    
   ||   ∬∬ ∬∬   ∬∬  ||  ||    
   ||  (__)(__) (__) ||

42 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Coming from a pooping veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, holding the poop in.
That's right, holding the poop in. This is the vet's way of pooping.
Holding in poop means the right texture and it comes out easily. But on the other hand it's hard to time right. This is the key.
And then, it slides out nicely. This is unbeatable.
However, if you hold poop in then there is danger that it'll become impossible to wipe hell and you will have to sit on the toilet for hours and hours and hours until every spot is gone and you still have to poop after; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should just stick with pooping the second you get the urge.

43 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

So I went to the bathroom today. You know, the bathroom?

44 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots. You don't just poop because you feel like it, fool.

45 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

>>44
Then enlighten us, pooper.

46 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

who doesn't like poop?

47 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Who in the world shits with extra liquid nowadays, you moron? I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to shit with extra liquid?" I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.

48 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

I only eat one meal a day so sometimes I'll go for days without shitting.

49 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.
i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.
the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.

50 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

         n    人     人     n
       (ヨ )  (_ )   (_ )   ( E)
       / |  (__)   (__)   | ヽ  50GET!! GOOD JOB!!!
       \人/( ・∀・)∩(・∀・ )ヽ/  人
   _n    (_ )u    ( ⌒)   uu)∩_  (_ )
  ( l   (__)    ./,. 人     i ,,E)__)
   \ \ (・∀・ )   / /_)   ./ .ノ( ・∀・ )    n
    ヽ___ ̄ ̄  )   / /____) ,/ ./ ̄    \    ( E)
    / ̄| .  人 / / ・∀・)  / フ 人  ./ヽ ヽ_//
    |  |. (__)       /   (__)   \_///  
    |  |. (__)\  人 ヽ    (__)    / /人 
  ,―    \( ・∀・)  (__)    ∩ ・∀・)∩  ./   .(__)  
 | ___)   |  ノ   (__)    〉    _ノ  / ∩(__)  
 | ___)   |)_)  (,,・∀・)   ノ ノ  ノ   / .| ( ・∀・)_ 
 | ___)   |      ( O┬O   .し´(_)  .// |    ヽ/ 
 ヽ__)_/  ≡ ◎-ヽJ┴◎

51 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

I'm constipated...
Uoooooh...
It's coming...

52 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

farted

53 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

shidded

54 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

sharted

55 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

test

56 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of this thread

57 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Are you SURE?

58 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Yes, I am sure

59 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Wow

60 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

I have to be on stage in 4 minutes and I can't stop pooping, writing this from the restroom

61 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

I have no way to understand poop (conceptually)

62 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Milk makes me shit uncontrollably, but I can't stop drinking it!!

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