It was a dark and stormy night,
. I had them off before, they're back.
Suddenly, the floor caved in, revealing a
secert temple buried in time. Stinky sandwiches
could be found scattered about the temple
. Eating them was a very bad idea.
Really, really bad. I mean, just awful.
As I ate the accursed sandwiches, my
life flashed before my eyes. I realised
I forgot to turn off the stove.
Quick! Dial mother and tell her about
all of these exciting, time-limited offers!
For the low, low price of just
the souls of you and your peers,
YOU can become a cute little girl
(or cute boy with a girlish physique)
and live forever in the Unholy Citadel!
Finnish flounders flopped furiously for forbidden fallacy
" recited Alice at the annual alliteration affair
in Tokyo at edge of world disc
while Abolf Hitler conversed with giant swans
about the genetic inferiority of the blackbird
and the hook-billed kite's global conspiracy.
It really was part of his plan
in my pants. All the Basque ninjas
were actually bas8que niggers underneath their masks.
Who would have thunk it? Not me
" he thought to himself after he suddenly
deleted his user in his pants for
JUST SIXTY DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE CENTS
.
Suddenly, the door was thrown open by
A loli begging you to beat her
eggs for her because her arm's tired.
"by 'beat your eggs' you mean your
organic free range eggs for cake making
." "Oh, not at all! I mean my
regular grocery store eggs you elitist cunt."
The elitist cunt was, in fact, a
self described XML programmer who just happened
to engage in elitism as a hobby
""XML makes java the 'acceptable lisp' he
preached his idiocy well after it was
welcome as the loli had grown quite
masochistic and wise beyond her years. Watanuki
"What a nuki? Sorry, I don't understand"
Screamed the loli in a fit of
barely suppressed erotic tension. Unable to wait
any longer, she began hastily unbuttoning her
thousand buttoned blouse. Her Onii-chan waited patiently
-very- patiently, as she'd repeatedly fumble her
unbuttoning. Finally, Onii-chan could wait no longer,
and stormed off out of the room
In search of a new sister, one who
could get down to business more promptly.
"Hey Tyrone, where exactly are we going?"
"I already fuckin' told you, Jamal, we're
about five klicks from reaching the current
" Replied Tyrone, as they both sped down
the canals of Venice in their speedboat.
Had these canals been a bit wider
the pair might not have crashed into
the hostel which required you to pay
for each bee you were stung by
, and let me tell you these bees
sure do hate black people. "Ow! Shit!
These fuckin' bees are stinging my ass!"
lamented Jamal, as he signed his check.
"Aww hell naw, i'm enterin' anaphylactic shock!
" "anal phallic shock? Nigga, that's real gay"
quipped Tyrone, using witty banter to help
ease the tension brought on by Jamal's
Overly dramatic and unnecessary bid for attention
"Oh lord I think I'm dying, help."
One of the narrators asked how we
got from lolis to ghetto black people
"There's a difference between the two?" remarked
Tyrone, the ghetto black loli. She then
proceeded to rob a candy store, meanwhile
a
person who somehow smoked weed every day
read through this very story and remarked
"But I haven't ever smoked weed before!"
while continuing to chuff a fat blunt
CEO. Do what thou wilt shall be
the whole of the Law. Love is
possessiveness. All things are nothing to me.
when that thing you've been waiting for
is drowning in kindness for money and
Pastor Phelps, "Imma let you finish but
vampires have come to take the castle
and only you, son of Belmont, can
DRIVE OUT ALL THESE MOTHER FUCKING BEES
OUT OF THIS MOTHER FUCKING PLANE, AND
--"
"Hold up, we're VAMPIRES now?" interjected Jamal.
Jamal just couldn't believe it, wasn't he
too confusing. Tyrone dissolved into bats, laughing