ITT we tell a story seven words at a time. (1000)

1 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

It was a dark and stormy night,

901 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

realized I hadn't drank bleach, but two

902 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

redbulls. I was now able to fly

903 Post deleted by moderator.

904 Name: !IHfAL6XxxI [Del]

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905 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

over the great wall of spam that

906 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

was, on reflection, actually not that great.

907 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

What is truly great is the delicious

908 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Soon, on the other side, I saw

909 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

the thing that's truly great and delicious:

910 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

A strawberry shortcake, glistening with straws and

911 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

small pieces of plastic, which on hindsight

912 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

were probably the best part of it

913 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

I ate it up and became a

914 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

transcendental vision living in the mind of

915 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

a cute loli. But the loli was

916 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

actually a fat anonymous on a textboard

917 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

who was nonetheless a loli at heart.

918 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

stop saying that creepy shit you neckbeards

919 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

" complained a bitch, but was soon silenced

920 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

by the sound of the impending apocalypse.

921 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

but seriously, stop saying creepy shit, dudes

922 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

and embrace the loli with a hug.

923 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

loli loli loli loli loli loli loli

924 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

, said the loli, which roughly translates to

925 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

“Holy shit, stop being a faggot, oniichan

926 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

, and come and cuddle me already!"

But

927 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

then Ted Kaczynski came out of nowhere

928 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

and everyone groaned and rolled their eyes.

929 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

After all, no one opens letters anymore

930 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

, so Ted Kaczynski sadly returned to his

931 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

cozy shack and wrote another anprim manifesto

932 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

which read a little like this “Fuck

933 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

the police comin straight from the underground,"

934 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

The underground referring to subterranean fungal filaments.

935 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

and the police referring to the police.

936 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

After having the mood ruined by Ted,

937 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

the fat anon... I mean, the loli

938 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

then the creeps were reported and banned

939 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

from the country of Italy where they

940 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

were turned into lamp shades and soap

941 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

in a bloody, messy transmogrification scene. The

942 Post deleted by user.

943 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

missile knows where it is at all

944 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

loli loli loli loli loli loli loli

945 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

"Oniichan! Quit messing around and go do

946 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

some chocolate pudding, we are starving here!"

947 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

So I hopped to the kitchen, but

948 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

time was running out, as the Latvian

949 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

pudding sniffer was caught red handed in

950 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

the action of sniffing the pudding, so

951 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

the pudding police sought to shut down

952 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

eight ongoing updates from their office computers

953 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

in an attempt to punish the bunny

954 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP

955 Post deleted by user.

956 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

"Onii-san! Shut up and make my pudding!

957 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

“ the loli started yelling louder. So loud

958 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

that I was not able to ignore

959 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

her, and resigned to making her pudding.

960 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Why do I refer to my imouto

961 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

as "the loli"? Just a running joke.

962 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Anyway fuck how do I make pudding...

963 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

You fuck some flour, butter, eggs and

964 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

then spread sugar between your buttocks while

965 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

carefully extracting broken eggshell from your glans.

966 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

It took 10 days, several gallons of

967 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

liquid plutonium to finally get closer to

968 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Valhalla, to eventually stand at Odin's side.

969 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Chocolate pudding should be made at 4a.m.

970 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

and after losing control of your life

971 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

the chocolate pudding has been completed finally

972 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

at an enormous cost: in exchange, I

973 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

just dropped my phone in the toilet

974 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

for the luls. Now I don't need

975 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

this mortal body anymore, for chocolate pudding

976 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

is the meaning of life, if only

977 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

our mother would accept the two of

978 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

us siblings in an incestuous monarchy over

979 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

my impending ruinous suicide. I'm sorry

980 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

to inform OP that my decision to

981 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

build the wall and secure our borders

982 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

will be reversed. I understand your frustration

983 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

but chocolate pudding is eternal. It's life,

984 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

until it's death. Suck my big juicy

985 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

conclusion. I felt so strong the day

986 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

I lifted my morbidly obese ass with

987 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

an industrial forklift. Is that ass wet?

988 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Yes, of course that ass is wet.

989 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Suddenly a wet downpour erupted out of

990 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

the kitchen. It was finally here, the

991 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

end of days. Prepare to make your

992 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

breakfast, and mind the leaking pipes there.

993 Post deleted by user.

994 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Before they come to fix the pipes

995 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

the story has to meet an end.

996 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

Alas, farewell oh world of cruelty and

997 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

barbaric tv shows. We eagerly await the

998 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

you are now breathing and blinking manually

999 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

sign. Now I must depart. Gensokyo awaits.

1000 Name: キタ━━━━━━━━( ・∀・)━━━━━━━━!!!! [Del]

But that's another story for another time.

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