It was a dark and stormy night,
It then proceeded to penetrate a large
rectum whose owner I do not know.
The damage was considerable, the incident was
brought to the Hakurei shrine maiden's attention.
It was promptly ignored. The gigantic cock
continued to grow ever larger but suddenly
stopped, and remained at a height of
a small house, or a big SUV.
But then it began violently twitching, and
everyone logged in on twitch.tv to watch!
The giant cock then abruptly shot out
liters of thick gooey semen up in
the air. It flew so high that
it turned into a giant shard of
frozen semen, and tumbled back towards the
Earth. Then a calamitous explosion occurred as
it strikes the White House. The explosion
lead to small shards of semen shooting
in all directions and hitting people's eyes.
20.000 people died on that day. What
does it matter? Life is worthless anyway.
Nothij personnel kid, i thought to myself
But it was in fact, very personal.
The giant cock has held a grudge
against the US government for years now
, ever since that unfortunate incident with the
forced sterilization of his father. His father
had very visibly red balls with
dead skins and bugs on them.
The giant cock needed vengeance for
his father to restore his dignity. He
opened his beak. And from his beak
emerged a cock with a smaller beak.
And from this beak, lo and behold:
a sharp sword covered in flames emerged.
And then, without warning, the universe exploded.
But this ending was retconned and non-canon.
We return back to the sword emerging.
This sword was basically a normal sword.
.. To the eyes of the mundane. But
it was in reality a sword of
bones. Not boners, as some may think,
but bones (and partly boners). The sword
was so flaming huge it could easily
be used to strike down a giant
nation! And he shall rule them all
like a true Pokemon master would do.
But then the sword snapped in half
and from the hilt cometh a hundred
cute little lolis, searching for their onii-chans.
But their onii-chans were not here, they
had all committed suicide due to the
delay on the new chapter of Berserk.
The lolis wept bitterly and solemnly vowed
to accept their fate at the hands
of the giant flaming penis sword that
had hands for some reason. Having vowed,
to never suck off another immeasurably small
lollipop, they found themselves quite unable to
gather enough signatures to officialy enact such
legislative action to protect the vow. Disheartened,
they organized a coup against the current
number of words per post. "Seven words
is Judeo-Christian numerological propaganda. Why not eight?"
They were killed swiftly and without mercy.
And by "killed" I mean "severely scolded".
Yet they were resurrected as gargantuan buttocks
That flapped mercilessly in the high winds
Unperturbed and unrepentant, the lolis decided to
remove all their clothing, as it
was made of spiders. Now nude, they
Knitted new clothes out of some spare
spider webs they found in their immediate
vicinity, and donated them to the homeless.
The loli pranced around naked on a
carpet of arachnids, formerly comprising their clothing.
Suddenly, the loli merge together into a
large undulating pile of naked lolis. They
start to engage in a hot mass-orgy,
which lasted about 400 years, after which
they emerged as lolis no more, but
hideous skinless insectoids, searching for their onii-chans.
But the onii-chans died 400 years ago,
dooming their noble quest from the beginning.
So they decided to smoke weed everyday
So they each took out their blunts
And then they died of weed overdose
But this was of course impossible, as they died 5 posts ago.
, wiping out all life on Earth. The
story, however, takes place on Earth 2
where the loli rule. The loli were
ruthless dictators, forcing the enslaved populace to
copulate all day for basic human needs.
``Why is everyone so obsessed with lolis?''
asked some sick gerontophile, immediately before being
struck by a spaceship containing alien loli.
There were no survivors.
Meanwhile, in the
Sacred Scalpel Hospital, Jeannie gets to hear her