It was a dark and stormy night,

Inserted an exclamation mark mid-sentence dumbly!

Insects started crawling out of my dick

. They were very friendly. One of them

even taught me how to quilt a

cumrag for personal use of president Obama

Jr., dear leader of the American Empire

of Lucifer Morningstar. Some British people attempted

to make sense of that last sentence.

But to no avail. It was then

that they discovered the true meaning of

used loli pantsu from a vending machine

and Blue Sailors in general. Or rather,

Shrek's cucumber, by which I mean penis

attempted to penetrate me, but it only

was an actual cucumber, not a penis.

It was green, just like the Hulk's.

"Golly" - I said - "that feels so good!"

Despite the attempt being thorough, it remained

in the white room, in the station

with black curtains. As I walked out,

I walked back in. The neverending nightmare

finally ended when I got glomped by

my nigga Jamal. "yo tyrone, ya gon

cap some fools with me'n the homies

later this evenin?", he said. I replied "

Does the pope shit in the woods?"

"He probably shits in the Vatican." Replied

Jamal as he handed over to me

his newest anime dragon dildo. A few

sentences later, we returned to the story

of me an' jamal going ta cap

some niggas. I opened the door holding

my gat and pointed it at Paquito,

the local mexican drug dealer. I shouted "

NOBODY GETS MY SAN ANDREAS REFERENCES, WHY?"

He shouted into the darkness. "Nobody cares"

“See you around,” said the police officer.

after that, I immediately fired my gat

, missing all twelve times. Jew rat bastards,

you'll pay for what you did to

the two people in the green Sabre!

Will the one who opened the jar

put it inside of his red rectum?

Tune in next time to find out!

One week later, I dutifully tuned in

to find out if the one who

who who who who who who who

buffalo Buffalo buffalo. Buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo!

And not a single fuck was given.

The end. A long, long time ago,

desu desu desu desu desu desu desu

. Where is the fun in all this,

I protested, why is torturing dogs boring?

Perhaps if I give the creature immortality

then it will learn to accept my

undivided attention at making it feel the

happiest puppy that ever lived on Earth.

I grab the peanutbutter off the shelf,

and smear some on my large cock.

The dog comes over to my cock,

and licks off the peanutbutter. I like

the feeling of dogs licking my cock.

I proceed to jerk off the dog,

And then i stopped being a perv

-ert. I scratch my balls while thinking about

all the various kinds of perversions I

previously underwent with this dog. I realized

that my balls have gotten really itchy!

So I rub some ointment on them

but it only makes it worse! Oh

, how I yearn for the sweet respite

of letting a wave of passion roll

down the inside of my leg. Sometimes

you fall to then get back up.

And that is how I lost my

way and ended up here. How

do I propose to my dear-beloved

waifu, when she is trapped in another

whorehouse? I wish tranny brothels were together

like the ol' days where everything was

one; gays, niggers and trannies, all trash.

Three hundred one, the next number is...

um... what was it again? I can't

seem to find my fingers, quite the

inconvenience! Have you seem them anywhere? They're

supposed to be here somewhere in the

vicinity of my knuckles. Oh wait, I

forgot what I needed my fingers for.

Let me tell ya somethin, there ain't

a single cock larger than mine...

It's the largest cockfighting rooster ever bred.

An abomination, thirty feet tall, my cock

is. I have extensively trained it in

advanced gorilla welfare and tactical goose stepping,

It strikes fear into the hearts of

other cocks of considerable girth and magnitude.

At one point my cock was so

hungry for pussy, that it ate an

entire litter of kittens, and a hot-dog,

also known as a bitch in heat.