It was a dark and stormy night,
:
a) Loli pussy.
b) Your mom.
c) The fucking box.
d) His ass.
"Nigga, that ain't seven words" said Jamal
We have got to stop doing this
originating oranges on gazing on looking traffic
thought Jamal while Tyrone still continued walking.
Stop taking me out to eat in
-digestible nonsense. I can't eat sawdust!" protested
Ibuki Suika's urine. Ibuki Suika's urine. Ibuki
Suika's urine. Ibuki Suika's urine. Ibuki Suika's
urine. Ibuki Suika's urine. Ibuki Suika's urine.
Ibuki Suika's urine. Ibuki Suika's urine. Ibuki
Suika's urine probably tastes like sake, and
like a steak. So, one day I
broke mirrors with my face in the
stupidest way imaginable. And that's how I
realized there's no smart way to break
my face. Everybody pointed and laughed. I
felt myself go red, or maybe bleed.
In a distant land, it began raining.
And in that rain, someone got wet.
And that somebody was none other than
Benedictson Benski, retard extraordinaire. He grabbed his umbrella
and therewith stabbed himself in the eye.
Or tried to, as his eye was
versed in the art of karate and
deserved to be stabbed. However, the umbrella
just lost the game. Suddenly, Mr. Krabs
watches Benedictson Benski fail to stab his eye.
It causes an emotion to arise in
his krabby heart, but he is unsure
how to place it. Anger? Sexual arousal?
MisterKrabs thenbecame proccupiedwiththesudden shiftto presenttense whichhehadjust experienced.
Without any understanding, he walked towards him.
Benedictson Benski turned to face Mr. Krabs, just
in time to get stabbed in the
dick by a loli who had been
waiting for this moment her whole life.
==BEGIN MUSICAL INTERLUDE==
The bells are alive
==END MUSICAL INTERLUDE==
The dick bleeds out.
The loli laughs maniacally in triumph, before
Mr. Krab yells out "These claws aren't
In fact, Post deleted by user is
a fuckin nigger wop chink honkey squaw
. Now get quiet, Satan is gonna speak”.
And Satan spoke thusly: "Well ain't that
a kick in the head?" The loli
nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger
Watches as the niggers nigger on softly.
==MUSICAL INTERLUDE 2==
Oh baby, you're so
fuckin stupid and I hate you
but
Post deleted by user in the rain
everything is pain
I don't have a brain
somebody please delete the bees thread again
, said the anti-bee activist, raging and yelling
spread eagle cross the block. Zhe then
was turned into a loli by Squeeks,
who, despite numerous claims to the contrary,
THERE ARE TOO MANY BEES
I can't even SEE WHAT I M ROUND YOUNG YOUNG TOOTH TITLING TYPING AND THERE COVERING THE THE THE REPLY
Then, I had an idea! I could catch the bees!
But the bees ended up catching me!
They took me hostage into their hive!
I was brought to the queen bee,
and everyone died. asdf ghjk lmnb vcxz
qwer tyui op. My name is Squeeks
and I have decided to live in
Benedictson Benski's warm cosy anal cavity. Would you
like to join me? There's room for
me only. Sorry. Guess you'll have to
climb up MY cosy anal cavity instead...
Ya'know I would but I have to
see my doctor about my prolapsed butt.
I got it from my best friend's
prolapsed butt. Your mom is your mom
said your mom's prolapsed butt. No one
said that your mom is. No one
butt your mom. Your mom is but
your dad is not. Your uncle wants
a prolapsed butt. Your aunt wants to
stop talking about prolapsed butts. It's time
to take up more important issues, like
PROLAPSED BUTTS! PROLAPSED BUTTS! PROLAPSED BUTTS ARE
an important issues in today's economy. Butts
is not right, use prolaped anus instead.
It was a dark and stormy night,
the somber sky was teeming with thunder,
the anal cavities, full; the butts, prolapsed.
There was not a single thing that
could prevent those wrecked rectums from escaping
except maybe a brutal rewrite of communism
where Satan is a loli. Anime was
real yesterday, but yesterday has passed; just
my yesterday has passed; just Hakurei Reimu
, adored of the brave skillful Ibuki Suika
the wind is killing my art, ducky.
toe hoes suckin dem toes hmm yeah
tasty athletes foot yummy yeah yum yah
smelly dumb footfetish scum stop shitting up
toe hoes, we need those hoes clean
but wow check out those ear lobes!
Henry felt the urge to snack on
twelve payments of only $49.99 a month
for high quality foot fetish art. Antidisestablishmentarianism
within Benedictson Benski's prolapsed butt; o sad toge
.
Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, a cute
toddler was usually considered quite the little
mischief maker! So the people elected to
abandon it in the middle of a
fish market. She ate all of
the delicious tuna, and then proceeded to
eat all of the non-delicious tuna.
What
a happy and fun day! Then she
died. Alas, fate is cruel. Food poisoning
claims the lives of over 15 poor
2018-5-3
holy fuck why is my internet speed literally slower than dial-up right now (yes, less than 56Kbps)
textboards are the only thing I can browse
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
2018-05-16
Zlatan Ibrahimović and his sidekick
who shall remain nameless for copyright reasons.
Their plan to fight food poisoning involves
letting everyone die by gunshot instead. Clever
thinking, but it was not enough to
untangle the knots tied with my penis.
"Excuse me sir, you're due for an
hero. Please kill yourself by this afternoon."
Is what I would say if you
ever asked me for a bowl of
peeled grapes and called them eyeballs. Only
idiots think that works. I might scream, though.
However, it would be a muted scream
because I wouldn't like to wake my
dog, who has some INSANE pregnancy titties.
In fact, I just remembered that last
Monday I had my vocal cord surgery
to fix the damage caused by years
of testosterone exposure. Perhaps some day I'll
find the key to your heart. But
seriously though, trannies are mentally ill freaks.
I have fantasies of butchering strangers. Knives
aren't playthings and neither is my heart.
The quickest way to get there is
over the river and through the woods
where the scary monsters prowl. These monsters
can fit inside a glass jar and
trained to fight one another. You could
put bees up your ass if you
want to achieve supreme enlightenment, or maybe
just for fun. Remember to collect your
NEETbux before you walk out the door
cause you're not welcome anymore, for being
gay as hell and having AIDS. Faggot
you are, and will remain as long
as you sing songs sung by twintailed
majestic donkeys. the ones you know, the
very gay ones, the ones that can
bestow gayness upon even the most resolute
orthodox jew. The sound is comparable to
the cries of a cat getting raped
, which is how angels really sound like
in some of the medieval bible mistranslations.
So I invite you, dear friend, to
enter into a suicide pact with me.
The conditions basically are that I will
suicide you, then you suicide me, then
in office of local sucide prevention hotline
the suicide staff members also commit suicide.
The point of this is completely nonexistent
But I think you will find it
a reddit clone but with only downvotes
which is terrible, but not as terrible
as Facebook, which only has the upvotes.
or hacker news, which only features garbage.
So, do you accept? Please consider how
Donald Trump will make America great again
. But the more I spoke, I realized
that America was always kind of gay.
So I realized that in the end
that familiarity breeds contempt, and I've always
yearned for the sweet release of death.
I pick up a gun, point it
at my balls, and pull the trigger
. You know what word rhymes with trigger?
That's right: snigger. Which reminds me, once
you pop, you won't stop. That's guaranteed.
sex with negores
isn't enough to complete seven words, dumbass!
People on /dqn/ can't handle different opinions.
" Said the deficient channer with heavy complexes.
But I didn´t hear him because I
am smarter and with more sophisticated opinions.
I am also very close to being deaf.
That was thanks to my involvement in
the Royal Artillery, in the Great War.
But I can hear the desperate screams
even when I take a shit. Oh
man, were those fun times, my dude
! What I'm trying to say here is
daily special. I forgot what it was
but I think it involved fried fish.
It is vital that you know this:
The industrial revolution and its consequences have
been a disaster for the human race.
Avery Morrow: The Sacred Science Of Japan
is a book no one will read
. We must secure the existence of our
hairlines and the swift destruction of all
without being inspired by the author's intelligence.
wow somebody posted twice before me ( >>831 )
I always assume that I'm alone here.
To do this, you must write the
longest sentence in the world, and learn
to refresh the page before posting, otherwise
and produce an incomprehensible string of phrases
which isn't necessarily bad but nevertheless it's
certainly unsightly, much like the time I
got kicked so hard I sneezed cum
onto my gay lover's throbbing, aids-ridden penis.
Suddenly, I was attacked by a bee
. There were no survivors.
Meanwhile, in Timbuktu,
a team of experts has discovered a
pretty efficient way to split cakes into
cake-eating insects to produce technology that
makes cakes for the cake-eating insects.
What I'm trying to say is that
I tote guns, I make number runs
And I have Autism like my dad
, gaw gaw gaw gaw gaw noot gaw
, if you know what I mean. But
you wouldn't understand, and you know why?
Потому что мне нравится вкус заплесневелого хлеба
Then Goku took a HUGE bong rip
he got so high it was further
down south by the pond, five men
started to charge up their anime attacks
and the attacks came from their penises
that shot out of their uncut penises
when they ran out of penises, they
said "blow it out your ass!" and
many asses were blown that day indeed.
But who were they shooting at, huh?
They were shooting at Snake? Snake! SNAAAAAAAKE!!
This caused a time paradox, and now
you must let the legend come back
dies
That was not even seven words, man!
complains the gay, but worry not, for
his dick is shorter than an ant
and must now give us six extra
anal poundings. (For we, too, are gay.)
The post was destroyed by the magic
of our friendship. No one will stop
Mr. Domino. Even Goku can't. Spoilers!
"Fuck
the police comin straight from the underground,"
became the battle cry of the emerging
urban middle class in post war Asia.
And then I took a huge shit.
Soon, I was arrested for shitting on
the local bronze statue of Donald Trump,
, bless the king of gets for he
say to us "yukkuri SHITeitte ne" child
of creation, blessings be to your magnanimous
hi
said jevin. He was new to the
whole counting thing, thus his words never
I fucked your mother.
Jevin was shaken. "My mother is dead"
"How do you think she died?" I
grabbed a gallon of bleach and drank
, it was alright, I guess. Then a
delightful fruity aftertaste filled my mouth. I
realized I hadn't drank bleach, but two
redbulls. I was now able to fly
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over the great wall of spam that
was, on reflection, actually not that great.
What is truly great is the delicious
Soon, on the other side, I saw
the thing that's truly great and delicious:
A strawberry shortcake, glistening with straws and
small pieces of plastic, which on hindsight
were probably the best part of it
I ate it up and became a
transcendental vision living in the mind of
a cute loli. But the loli was
actually a fat anonymous on a textboard
who was nonetheless a loli at heart.
stop saying that creepy shit you neckbeards
" complained a bitch, but was soon silenced
by the sound of the impending apocalypse.
but seriously, stop saying creepy shit, dudes
and embrace the loli with a hug.
loli loli loli loli loli loli loli
, said the loli, which roughly translates to
“Holy shit, stop being a faggot, oniichan
, and come and cuddle me already!"
But
then Ted Kaczynski came out of nowhere
and everyone groaned and rolled their eyes.
After all, no one opens letters anymore
, so Ted Kaczynski sadly returned to his
cozy shack and wrote another anprim manifesto
which read a little like this “Fuck
the police comin straight from the underground,"
The underground referring to subterranean fungal filaments.
and the police referring to the police.
After having the mood ruined by Ted,
the fat anon... I mean, the loli
then the creeps were reported and banned
from the country of Italy where they
were turned into lamp shades and soap
in a bloody, messy transmogrification scene. The
missile knows where it is at all
loli loli loli loli loli loli loli
"Oniichan! Quit messing around and go do
some chocolate pudding, we are starving here!"
So I hopped to the kitchen, but
time was running out, as the Latvian
pudding sniffer was caught red handed in
the action of sniffing the pudding, so
the pudding police sought to shut down
eight ongoing updates from their office computers
in an attempt to punish the bunny
BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP BRAAAAP
"Onii-san! Shut up and make my pudding!
“ the loli started yelling louder. So loud
that I was not able to ignore
her, and resigned to making her pudding.
Why do I refer to my imouto
as "the loli"? Just a running joke.
Anyway fuck how do I make pudding...
You fuck some flour, butter, eggs and
then spread sugar between your buttocks while
carefully extracting broken eggshell from your glans.
It took 10 days, several gallons of
liquid plutonium to finally get closer to
Valhalla, to eventually stand at Odin's side.
Chocolate pudding should be made at 4a.m.
and after losing control of your life
the chocolate pudding has been completed finally
at an enormous cost: in exchange, I
just dropped my phone in the toilet
for the luls. Now I don't need
this mortal body anymore, for chocolate pudding
is the meaning of life, if only
our mother would accept the two of
us siblings in an incestuous monarchy over
my impending ruinous suicide. I'm sorry
to inform OP that my decision to
build the wall and secure our borders
will be reversed. I understand your frustration
but chocolate pudding is eternal. It's life,
until it's death. Suck my big juicy
conclusion. I felt so strong the day
I lifted my morbidly obese ass with
an industrial forklift. Is that ass wet?
Yes, of course that ass is wet.
the kitchen. It was finally here, the
end of days. Prepare to make your
breakfast, and mind the leaking pipes there.
Before they come to fix the pipes
the story has to meet an end.
Alas, farewell oh world of cruelty and
barbaric tv shows. We eagerly await the
you are now breathing and blinking manually
sign. Now I must depart. Gensokyo awaits.
But that's another story for another time.